Discovering what real love looks like
Kim shared her story at our 2024 Sowing Seeds of Hope Golf Outing while a guest at Mustard Seed Shelter.
August 2024
“I am so thankful to the staff and other guests at Mustard Seed for showing me what real love looks like.” — Kim G.
Hello, my name is Kimberly Gulliver, although I prefer to go by Kim. I grew up one of six children in a very abusive household. Between my mother and all her different boyfriends, my life was the stuff nightmares are made of. As a child, I longed for my prince to save me. As a teenager, I concluded that the only one who could save me was myself. At 16, I packed my bags and left home. I lived homeless, bouncing from couch to couch until I turned 18 and could sign a lease.
At 21, I met the man who would very quickly become my husband. He sparked the old longing for a prince to save me and so I fell fast and hard in love. Within a few months of meeting, we made our vows in front of all our family and friends and God Himself. I took my role as his wife very seriously. I bent over backwards to make him happy. But, a few months later we had our first miscarriage, and he started to get mean. I didn’t think anything of it because it was my fault, wasn’t it? I failed in giving him the child he yearned for. I tried harder to make him happy and to conceive a child for him, but he only got worse. My mental health has always been bad, but he seemed to do something to me that made me feel like fighting for myself wasn’t possible.
Not even a year into our marriage, we conceived our daughter, Harper. As time went on, we got more and more confident that we had finally done it. I finally gave him the daughter he wanted. Life should be perfect now. But it wasn’t. Once again, I was living a nightmare. Years passed and it only got worse. I finally got the courage to report him to the authorities and leave him. But the law failed me twice and he ended up back in our home.
In November of 2022, we bought our first home. In December of 2023, I absolutely could not keep living like I was. He went back to jail on his third domestic violence offense and first degree criminal sexual conduct. My mental health tanked to an all-time low. I couldn’t take care of my daughter. I couldn’t even take care of myself. My daughter went to live with my sister and I sat in a chair in my house staring at the wall night and day. I didn’t eat and got minimal sleep. Between December of 2023 and February of 2024, I attempted to take my life four times. Each time I nearly died and had to be put on a ventilator. The last time, I was found dead in our family home and was brought back to life.
That last time was my breaking point. I had to do something different. I had to get out of that house of nightmares. My case manager called Amy at Mustard Seed Shelter before I was even medically cleared. Upon getting out of the hospital, I met Amy for the first time. I was on guard for our whole meeting because there was no way anyone was genuinely that kind and loving.
I moved in (to Mustard Seed) shortly after that meeting, and since then, my whole life has changed. I feel truly loved for the first time in my life. I was able to bring my daughter back to me. I have been able to get my mental health in a good place. I start school again Fall 2024 at Delta College. When things go wrong, and they have, I can feel my new friends’ unwavering and all-encompassing love and support. They are helping me become self-sufficient and brave enough to stand up for my own needs. I finally feel like I can breathe again.
I may be homeless, but I know that this was the right choice for me and my daughter. I am so thankful to the staff and other guests at Mustard Seed for showing me what real love looks like. I am also thankful that now I can work on loving myself in a safe environment. I am grateful for all the volunteers and donors who make Mustard Seed possible. You all have truly saved my life.
Thank you.